Aishiteru Zutto
by Dysnomia Hybris
Summary: CHAPTER 6 NOW UP! YAOI ChiTas Tasuki and Chichiri love each other, but will fate allow them to reveal their feelings, or keep them hidden till death.
1. Chapter 1

Pairing: Chichiri/Tasuki

Rating: This part PG13

Warnings: Obviously yaoi. Mild violence, Angst, Language 'cause Tasuki-kun has quite the mouth in this no da.

Spoilers: Don't know. I don't even know what's going to happen. I'm making it up as I go along. Although it takes place after the entire series, so there will most likely be spoilers for the entire thing.

Disclaimer: Do I really need this? I mean, everybody already knows that I can't possibly own Fushigi Yuugi. I'm just borrowing them for a bit.

//Chiri's thoughts//

*Tasuki's thoughts*

****

Aishiteru…zutto

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*I wonder where he is right now. Is he even thinkin' 'bout me at all? I mean, if he cared ya think he would'a come back by now.* "I miss you Chiri." Tasuki whispered to the empty room. "It's been way too long. I have ta see you again.....I need ya."

Tasuki's shaking hand reached for the cup of sake he had poured earlier. His vision however, was blurred, and his searching hand knocked the cup to the floor, splashing the liquid over the rug. He swiped at his eyes, not at all surprised when his sleeve came back damp. Pushing himself up out of the chair, Tasuki stumbled over to the mirror.

*Che, I don't even recognize myself anymore. What the hell am I doing?* "Dammit Chiri, I'm dying here without ya. Why'd ya leave me? What'd I do ta make ya go?"

His haggard reflection didn't have any answers. Amber eyes, usually glowing with an inner fire, seemed dull. Running a hand through fiery hair, Tasuki stared intently at his image, his thoughts going through reasons as to why Chichiri would go. *I know he likes wandering. It's what he does after all, but he always asked me if I wanted ta go with him. It's gotta be me then. I'm the reason he left.* Suddenly feeling cold, Tasuki's eyes widened in horror. "Oh Gods, he found out. He figured it out. But how? I was careful. I...I didn't do anything that would let him know. He had ta have realized I love him though. Why else would he leave so suddenly?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Flashback~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I have to go now Tasuki-kun no da. I'll see you in a few months or so no da." Chichiri said while pulling on his kesa.

"Nani!" Tasuki started, nearly falling from the tree he was perched in. "Demo doshite?"

Chichiri had his mask on, so any emotion on his face would have been hidden. "I just want to go travelling again for a while no da."

Confusion passed over the bandit's features. He wanted to ask, 'Why aren't ya takin' me with ya?', but settled for, "So....you're goin' alone huh?" He tried to keep the hurt out of his voice and face.

"Hai, no da. I need to spend several months on my own. I've started to neglect my praying and need time to worship Suzaku properly no da."

"Oh....." Tasuki trailed off, knowing anything else he said would start to sound like whining.

Picking up his staff, Chichiri turned towards the trial leading down Mt. Leikaku. Waving cheerily, Chichiri called out, "Goodbye Tasuki-kun! I'll be back soon no da!"

Forcing a grin, Tasuki waved back. "See ya Chiri-kun. Don' be gone too long or I'll have ta come looking for yer ass! Take care of yerself."

As soon as Chichiri was out of sight the grin slipped from his face. "I'll miss ya Chiri. I don' want ya ta go." Sighing, Tasuki leaned back against the trunk. "I'll be waiting for ya. I can stand a couple of months without ya, how hard can it be?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~End Flashback~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A couple months had quickly turned into half a year, then slowly dragged on past a year. "It's been what? 'Bout a year and three months now?" His annoying subconscious decided to choose this moment to be helpful. *It's been one year, three months, two weeks, four days, and 'bout just after dinner, since he left.*

The only thing that kept Tasuki from following through with his threat to track down Chichiri was the fact that he had no idea where the monk was. *I don' wanna miss him if he comes back. I don' wanna go, then come back and have the guys tell me Chiri was here but left 'cause he didn't wanna wait.* Tasuki growled at himself mentally. "Fuck, I'm starting ta sound like a woman! What the fuck's yer problem Tasuki? Just get over him already. There's no chance in hell he'd ever feel somethin' for me." *But I love him. How do ya just stop loving someone? Ya know ya'll wait forever for him.*

Flopping down on his bed, Tasuki growled, "Just shut up!"

Deciding to get some sleep before any of his men came to bug him, he closed his eyes. But, like every time before, 

images of Chichiri popped up. Eventually, the picture of them entwined in an embrace lulled him off to an uneasy rest.

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Chichiri stopped and stared up the winding trail that would lead him to the bandit stronghold. "Tasuki-kun is going to be a bit mad at me no da."

//Now that's an understatement if I've ever heard one. Saying Tasuki is going to be a bit mad is like saying Hotohori was just a bit narcissistic. He's going to be furious with me. I really shouldn't be too worried though. Tasuki might be easily angered, but he forgives just as quickly.//

Nodding his head in determination, Chichiri started to make his way up the path, his staff jingling with each step. Usually, that sound was comforting, a reminder of what he loved to do. The past year however, that small sound has only made the monk lonely. Lonely and miserable. //Without Tasuki's nonstop loud talking it seems so very silent. That's what I miss the most, having someone to talk to. I know I chose to become a monk so I could be left alone, but meeting Tasuki changed all that. All I wanted was to have him near me. that wasn't bad at first, although a bit disconcerting. It was when the dreams started that I needed to get away.//

Blushing furiously, Chichiri attempted to stop the images from flooding his mind. Pushing them firmly out of his thoughts, he went back to his contemplating. //I'm only sorry that I had to spring my decision to leave on him so suddenly. No matter how hard he tried to hide it, I could tell he was hurt. It would hurt him more if he knew the real reason why I didn't want to bring him with me. I know he hates women, but what about men? He teased Nuriko about being gay all the time. On the other hand, he always seemed to be so very close to Kouji, but they were best friends. In all the time I've known him, not once have I seen him with anyone. Until I'm certain about his prefrences I'll stay quiet about my feelings.// Sighing, Chichiri's shoulders slumped, his mask still smiling. //My feelings. That's what drove me to wandering alone in the first place. I've never been so confused in my life. I'd never even had thoughts like that about Kouran. Never mind the fact that quite a few of these thoughts wouldn't even be possible with a woman.//

That set him off blushing again. "I think I spent too much time talking to Nuriko na da." He muttered as yet another vision of a naked Tasuki made itself present.

This time he didn't try to get rid of the image. Even imagined, the sight of an aroused Tasuki, flushed and panting with need, was making his penis stir. Only when he realized he was being watched did he banish the image. //Stop thinking hentai thoughts and pay attention!// he told himself sternly. Now that he had noticed them, the bandits watching him from the old trees were easy to sense. Concentrating, Chichiri tried to find Tasuki's chi. He nearly laughed out loud when he found it so quickly. //It's almost as simple as concentrating on my own.// The brilliant flame that could only be Tasuki burned bright and strong. He frowned when he felt the briefest flicker of something unusual. When the feeling wasn't repeated Chichiri dismissed it, believing it to be nothing but his imagination.

He could tell Tasuki was up at the stronghold. He thought about using his kesa to just teleport there but thought better of it. //I need a bit more time to think. Although you would figure I've had more then enough time to think things through. I never intended to be gone so long, it's just....I couldn't come back to Tasuki without sifting through my emotions first.//

*************************************

A knock on the door roused Tasuki from his sleep. *This had better be good. Chiri ain't never done that in a dream before. At least they've learned ta knock first. I guess catching yer leader jacking off to thoughts of blue haired monks'll teach a guy anything.* Chuckling softly, thinking about that certain incident all those months ago Tasuki called out, "Yea, what is it?"

Li, his second in command, tentatively stepped into the room, wary green eyes sweeping over Tasuki, relief flickering across his features upon finding him fully clothed. "Ah, Genrou, some of the men have seen a blue haired guy with a stick and a funny hat walking this way." Shrugging, he finished with, "They wanted to know what to do, I mean, he doesn't look dangerous."

Hope flared in the bandit's soul, some of the fire coming back to his eyes. *He came back! That could only be Chiri! Maybe he hasn't realized I love him, maybe his trip really did just take longer then he said it would.* Tasuki took off, running out of his room and outside towards the trail, leaving a startled and confused young man blinking owlishly in his wake.

TBC

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	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Still own nothing.

Rating: PG13 (Still)

//Chichiri's thoughts//

*Tasuki's thoughts*

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"I'm almost there no da." Chichiri stated happily.

He'd gotten over his trepidation about seeing Tasuki again. //I'm not going to have a problem as long as I keep my love for him to myself.// With each step he took, his heart grew lighter. Soon he couldn't keep the real smile from curling his lips, which rivaled the permanent one he usually wore. //I should have come back a long time ago. Oh, Suzaku, I've missed Tasuki. I wonder how long he'll let me stay with him. No matter. I'll enjoy his company for as long as I can. Maybe when I leave I'll ask him if he wants to com with me. I know he loves his position as the bandit leader, but I believe he's got a love of traveling as well, since I've given him a taste of it.// His smile grew wider at the thought of things that hadn't changed throughout their time together. //He never did like sleeping on the ground. And I doubt he's eaten fish since he got back to the hideout.//

Tasuki's words, spoken often, drifted through his mind, overlaid with images of annoyed amber eyes. "Aww....I gotta sleep on the ground again Chiri? I might as well just go find a fuckin' rock ta sleep on, It'd be 'bout as comfortable." "Fish. Again. I swear ta ya Chiri, I ain't ever goin' ta eat another fish. One of these days I'm jus' gonna refuse, and then yer goin' ta hafta find something else ta eat, or watch me die of starvation."

Chichiri was so engrossed in his thoughts that he didn't see the human whirlwind coming at him until it was too late. He suddenly found himself with an armload of fiery haired bandit, clutching him so tight that Chichiri's arms were starting to go numb. "Chiri! Fuck man, it's good ta see ya again. How are ya? Where've ya been buddy?" Tasuki said, his voice thick with emotion, arms tightening even further.

Surprised at the emotional response from the younger man, Chichiri jerked his gaze down, his own arms reaching up to encircle Tasuki's slim body of their own accord. Tasuki's eyes were squeezed tightly shut, his face pressed against Chichiri's neck, long lashes tickling the sensitive skin. He couldn't stop the startled gasp from escaping his lips. "Tasuki?" Chichiri whispered, a question clearly in his tone.

*Fuck. Why don't you just start crying already? It's just one step up from what yer doin' now. Practically throwing yerself at him. What the fuck are ya thinkin' baka? Could ya act anymore like a woman?* He couldn't help but enjoy the feeling of Chichiri's arms around him though. *I wish he'd do this without me bein' ta be the one who starts it.* No matter how much a part of his mind was disgusted at this display of weakness, the rest of his mind, not to mention a certain part of his body, was reveling in the chance to be this close to Chichiri. *Oh shit!*

Chichiri felt Tasuki's body stiffen in his arms the moment before he loosened his grip and practically jumped away from him. Chichiri tried to look the bandit in the eye, but found that Tasuki's gaze kept skirting away, focusing on a distant point past his head or at his boots. Looking a bit closer at him Chichiri was surprised for the second time in the last few minutes. //He's blushing!//

Tasuki was, in fact, blushing. His tanned face was flaming in embarrassment. 

//It's too bad he let go. It felt so right to be holding him in my arms.// He noticed another part of his body was definitely agreeing with his mind. //It's just as well he didn't stay so close any longer. I would I sent him running and screaming for his tesson. I hope his embarrassment is from hugging me so long, not because he felt something else.// 

Blushing himself now, thankful for his mask, he tried to recall what Tasuki had said before he had gotten distracted. //Um....oh yeah!// Clearing his throat made Tasuki's head snap up to meet him. "It' good to see you too Tasuki-kun no da. I'm doing just fine. I learned a lot while I was gone no da. Do anything interesting lately no da?"

He purposefully avoided the question about where he had been. //For most of the year I stayed too near Mt. Leikaku. I'd grown much too attached to this place, to you Tasuki, to go too far away. I was no more then a two day walk from you. There were so many times when I almost came running back to you.//

Rubbing the back of his head, Tasuki grinned crookedly, one fang peeking over his lip, a snort of amusement preceding a short burst of laughter. "What d'ya think I've been doin'? I am a bandit ya know. Com on. Let's go back to my place. Oh man, have I got some great shit ta tell ya 'bout."

Turning around, Tasuki started to make his way back up the trail, oblivious as to whether Chichiri was following him or not. He was struggling to keep himself under control. His stiff leather jacket hid the bulge in his pants, but that wasn't what he was worried about. *Whatever ya do, don't fall apart in front of Chiri again dammit. Do NOT let him know ho lonely ya've been.*

Then Chichiri was there by his side, the jingling of his staff a much missed sound. With a deep breath, Tasuki started his story. "'Bout two months ago or sumthin', me and a couple of the guys ran across this coach, ne. It was real fancy, had all these gold patterns on it an' everythin'. The horses pullin' this thing were fuckin' beautiful. Two huge white stallions, that must've cost 'bout as much as the damn coach itself. Well anyways, I figure it's headed towards the palace and there ain't been all that many people comin' by lately, so we thought it'd be a great chance ta rob a bunch'a rich snobs. We stopped the coach, I whipped the door open waving my tesson, and who do I see? Some fat bastard from Hotohori's old court. The fucker didn't even know who I was! He was all, 'Don't kill me! Take what you want and let me go.' I ain't never killed anyone who didn't deserve it, and as far as I know, none of the other men have either. Probably took more then we were goin' ta, but hell, the guys lucky we didn' take the horses too. Ha! That fat fuck never would'a made it off the mountain."

Chichiri never said anything, but then he'd never really had any comments about Tauki's choice of profession. Chichiri didn't exactly approve of the things he does, but Tasuki never takes more then people can afford. And he knew that what Tasuki had said earlier was true. //Tasuki might be hot headed and impulsive, but he doesn't hurt people without a reason. Unless you count Tamahome. Even then, their comments to each other warranted the fights. I honestly think they didn't mean anything by the small bouts. Nothing ever came out of them but a few bruises, wounded pride, and in Tamahome's case, a few singed clothes.//

Seeing that they were back at the hideout, Tasuki pushed the door to his room open. Chichiri's mahogany eye swept over the room, taking in the place where Tasuki spends his private moments. It hadn't changed since the last time he was here. There wasn't much to it. The room was sparsely decorated. The only furniture were two chairs, a small table, and his bed, which was shoved into the corner by the window. Chichiri's eye lingered on the unmade bed, the rumpled sheets lying half on the floor. Surprisingly enough, there was a limited number of sake bottles collected in the room. There was a small pile of about four or five bottles right next to the door, and one sat on the table, half full from what he could tell. The cup however, was on its side on the rug. 

Tasuki motioned towards the chairs before dropping into one himself, legs sprawled out in front of him. Chichiri lowered himself into the remaining seat, glad to be off his feet after a long day of walking. Tasuki was still rambling away, a brilliant smile on his face, hands gesturing wildly. Chichiri however, wasn't hearing a single word. //He was fine without me. He's done so much while I was gone. Well, what did you expect? He did have a life before you met him. He had THIS life before being called as a Suzaku seishi. I doubt he'd have had a tough time adjusting again.// Chichiri knew Tasuki was, firs and foremost, a bandit, but that didn't stop the pain from blossoming across his chest. //He doesn't need me. He really is a thief, isn't he?// He thought wryly. //He stole my heart, that's for sure.// He felt tears welling in his eye, threatening to spill over. He didn't care. The mask would prevent Tasuki from seeing anything.

Suddenly, one of Tasuki's fine boned hands was being waved inches from his face, startling him out of his morose thoughts. "Da!"

*He wasn't even listenin' ta me.* Tasuki thought, with a sharp pang of hurt.

Guiltily, Chichiri realized that Tasuki had stopped talking for a few minutes already. "Gomen nasai Tasuki-kun. It's been a long day, I'm having trouble concentrating no da."

He felt terrible for lying to Tasuki, but he wasn't about to admit the real reason he hadn't been paying attention. His words seemed to satisfy Tasuki however, because he sat back in his chair and relaxed again. Chichiri studied the other seishi's face. He might as well have been wearing a mask himself. Emotionless. That was the only way Tasuki's expression could be described. His usually expressive eyes were flat and dull. Upon looking closer he saw that there were dark rings under them, which on Tasuki he knows isn't from lack of sleep, but a sign of stress. //There's something that's bothering him. But what?// "What's wrong no da?"

Tasuki just stared at him, as if trying to see past the mask to the man inside. Which was something he could usually do quite easily. Tasuki'd always had a knack for knowing what Chichiri was really thinking. The longer his question was left unanswered, the more uncomfortable he became. Finally, Tasuki seemed to come to some sort of decision, biting his lower lip and nodding to himself. The mask was dropped then, leaving raw emotion burning in his eyes. Loneliness, anger, and something Chichiri couldn't place, swirled in the amber depths. "I've missed ya so much Chiri. It ain't just that though. I've been so fuckin' lonely without ya here. I mean....I'm surrounded by the guys all the time, but.....I still feel so alone. Yer the only guy left that I know, who's been through the same shit I have. The only guy that I can talk to when all the crap comes back and reminds me of everyone and everything that I've lost. And for over a year ya weren't there. I had ta go through all those fuckin' anniversaries of our friends' deaths by myself. I couldn't tell any of the guys 'bout what I was feelin', 'cause they wouldn've understood."

Tasuki rubbed his face with his hands, then put one up to prevent Chichiri from saying anything. I just needed ta say that. I've been wantin' ta bitch ta someone for the longest time. I ain't mad anymore Chiri, 'specially at ya. I just really missed ya an all."

"I missed you too Tasuki. Don't ever think that I didn't. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you." Chichiri whispered, his emotions threatening to choke him.

"It's okay Chiri. Ya don't need ta apologize." *'Specially ta me. Why the hell did'ya say that shit ta him? Ya know he takes everything people say seriously.* "Yer tired huh? That I can fix. Er......the bed ain't made, but I swear it was. I was sorta having a nap 'fore I found out that ya were coming."

Blushing hotly underneath the mask, Chichiri realized that Tasuki wanted him to sleep here. Trying to keep his voice from squeaking, but failing, the monk asked, "I'll be sleeping in the same room with you? But...what about the place I usually stay?"

"Yea...'bout that. The thing is, we really needed the room so I kinda gave a couple of guys your place. I wouldn't want ta put ya in with any of the other bandits, and since there ain't anywhere else ya could sleep....." Tasuki trailed off, shrugging.

Resigning himself to his fate, Chichiri toed off his sandals and pulled his kesa off before settling himself on the bed. He hesitated only a moment before taking his mask off, placing it on the floor with his other belongings. It was then that he noticed Tasuki was throwing a blanket onto the floor. "Tasuki? Um...you're not sleeping on the floor are you?"

"Yea, the bed ain't exactly huge or anything."

"It's big enough for the both of us." Chichiri said, while hoping he wasn't making a huge mistake. "I'm not going to have you sleeping on the floor of your own room. If anything else, I should be the one sleeping there." He said, while nodding to the pile of blankets on the ground.

"Well, yer a guest. I ain't gonna make yousleep on the ground either."

*Oh shit, I'm in trouble now. Might as well get this over with.* With those thoughts Tasuki crawled into the bed, staying as far away from Chichiri as possible, without it being obvious. *Ya can do this Tasuki. Just keep yer hands to yerself.* With that chant repeating in his mind he laid there listening to Chichiri, waiting until his breaths were slow and even before turning to face him. *Keep yer hands to yerself. Keep yer hands to yerself. Keep yer hands to yerself.*

TBC

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Please review, I'd like all comments you ppl have.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Nuh-uh. Still don't own Fushigi Yuugi or Tasuki and Chichiri.

Rating: This part R

Authors Note: I can't believe how long it's been since I updated this. I have been so busy, but now I think I'll finally have more time to write. I had something to post about a month ago, but I decided to go with a different plot, and it had to be re-written. So now that I've finally figured out where this fic is going, and given the plot a major overhaul I should be able to get a part out once a week or so. It's starting to take a decidedly darker turn in future chapters, although I do promise to have a somewhat if not totally happy ending.

For another note, I've never seen the entire Fushigi Yuugi series. Well, I've seen the original series but not the OAV's, and I really don't know what happened in them. I try not to read spoilers on it, with the exception of fics. Even then, I'm probably going to get a lot of things wrong, so I'll just say that my version of events veers off from the end of the series, ending up different then the OAV's.

//Chichiri's thoughts//

*Tasuki's thoughts*

__

Italics mean dreams or visions

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__

Chichiri was perched on a flat rock at the edge of the river. His mask was off, lying to the side, along with his kesa. The monk's attention was fixed solely on the task at hand. He was fishing, needing, despite Tasuki's quite vocal protests, to catch the two of them something for dinner.

Wedging the pole between a couple of stones, Chichiri leaned back, resting his weight on his hands. It was quiet, the only sounds to disturb him were those of nature. He smiled when he figured out why everything was so silent. Tasuki was Suzaku only knows where. //Probably off sulking about dinner and trying to find something else to eat.//

Chichiri allowed himself to take in the scenery. They were close to the mountains, the setting sun casting a halo of pink, purple, and orange around the jagged peaks. It was still warm out, a hot, dry breeze stirring his bangs. The branches of a giant old oak threw shadows across the sparkling water.

He let his eye drift shut, trusting himself to hear the bell attached to the line should anything bite. With his mind concentrating on the sound of the gurgling water flowing by his feet, the feel of an arm snaking around his waist caught the monk off guard. Stiffening, it took a moment to realize that it was Tasuki's arm that was hugging him. Gentle fingers brushed Chichiri's ponytail to the side, the light blue strands falling over his shoulder. Soft lips pressed against the back of his neck, sending shivers down his spine. He relaxed instantly, his body going completely lax in the comforting circle of the other man's embrace. A small flick of Tasuki's tongue made Chichiri jerk. He reached for Tasuki, hand closing around one arm. He tugged the younger man around until he was sitting in Chichiri's lap. Slim legs wrapped around his middle, arms coming up to clasp together behind Chichiri's neck. The bandit pulled him closer, meshing their lips together, tongue teasing Chichiri's lips apart.

Chichiri moved his hands to the hem of Tasuki's shirt, sliding underneath and up his sides, fingers dancing along the soft skin of his ribs. He sought out a nipple, pinching the bit of flesh, loving how the nub hardened under his touch. //So responsive.// Tasuki groaned, allowing Chichiri to thrust his tongue into the other seishi's mouth, tasting the unique flavor that belonged to Tasuki alone.

Tasuki's shirt was bunched under his arms, and it took very little effort to convince him to raise them, letting Chichiri pull the garment off and throw it aside. Now all that soft tanned flesh, overlaying firm muscle, was exposed for him to explore. Running his hands along Tasuki's bare chest, brushing over the hardened nipples, caused Tasuki to gasp. Amber eyes fluttered closed, and his head was tossed back. Chichiri mourned the loss of Tasuki's lips for a moment before latching onto his throat, suckling softly. Tasuki bucked, grinding his pelvis down onto Chichiri's. The older man moaned as Tasuki's hardness brushed along his own stiff member.

Chichiri's lips trailed up the red head's neck, tracing a path over his jaw to suck at his earlobe, tongue circling the earring dangling there. While he had Tasuki distracted his own shirt joined Tasuki's on the ground. With some skillful maneuvering Chichiri managed to turn them around. A gentle shove had Tasuki lying prone on his back in the cool grass. Leaning over him, straddling the bandit's thighs, Chichiri untied Tasuki's pants. Tasuki's fingers were working on getting the monks own pants off. Wanting to still the wandering digits, Chichiri caught the slender wrists in one of his own hands, pinning them above Tasuki's head. With one hand still firmly holding the bandit immobile, the other returned to the task of removing Tasuki's pants. He tugged at the garment, easing the fabric over the straining erection trapped inside, which sprung free from its cloth confines.

He kissed his way down the bandit's defined chest, his tongue laving wet, meaningless patterns across toned flesh. He could hear the small gasps, feel the quickening heartbeat beneath his hand. Chichiri's tongue swirled around the sensitized skin of Tasuki's navel, before dipping inside, wrenching a moan from the younger man.

Abandoning his hold on Tasuki's wrists, Chichiri's hands slid down the lithe body to grasp his hips. Chichiri's fingers traced tiny circles on the tender skin of Tasuki's inner thighs, gently caressing, creeping ever closer to his ultimate goal. His heated gaze took in the sight before him. Tasuki was withering in pleasure beneath him, lust filled eyes following his every movement. His cheeks were flushed with arousal, kiss bruised mouth hanging open, panting in desire. The bandit's body shone with a light sheen of sweat. The monk's gaze inevitably strayed to Tasuki's groin. The physical evidence of his need was literally staring Chichiri in the face, what with his position leaving him hovering a mere few inches above Tasuki's leaking shaft. His eyes hungrily followed the path a small drop of pre-cum made, dripping from the slick head. Chichiri's tenuous control over himself snapped, and he couldn't resist leaning down to lap up the fluid.

Before he had time to savor the taste of Tasuki, and appreciate the throaty moan his action had produced, Chichiri heard something he'd thought would never reach his ears again.

"Houjun?" The soft feminine voice questioned.

His stunned mind didn't even have time to register what he was hearing before the warm flesh underneath his body was gone, leaving him clutching handfuls of grass. A startled cry escaped his throat and he whirled around, neck craning painfully to stare at the source of the voice. Eye widening in disbelief Chichiri stammered, his voice strangled, "Kou…Kouran?"

//Masaka! This cannot be happening.// A smile and a nod of her head was his answer. "What are you doing here?"

"I felt it was about time that I talked to you about a few things." Her gaze lingered pointedly on the spot Tasuki had occupied only moments before. 

"Oh." Flushing, Chichiri realized he was half naked. Groping blindly, he found and pulled on his top, trying to smooth out the wrinkles, anything to avoid looking at her until he'd composed himself better. 

Finally meeting her eyes Chichiri tried to gauge her emotions. Her expression was carefully guarded, not giving him any insight as to what she was really feeling. "Do you not approve of Tasuki? I can't help but think I've wronged you, betraying you with my love for Tasuki. I don't believe that I deserve another chance, not after how badly I messed up with you and Hikou."

Kouran shook her head, a sympathetic smile gracing her lips. "I was mistaken before, when I addressed you as Houjun. You are no longer the man I once knew as Ri Houjun. That part of you was lost to me forever that day long ago. You're Chichiri now, a member of the Suzaku Shichiseishi, loyal protector of the Suzaku no Miko. I came here today for one reason only. To tell you that above all else, I want you to be happy, that it's all I've ever wanted for you. You've been alone for far too long, my love. And believe it or not, I cannot think of another living person who could make you happier then Tasuki. Please don't let your life go to waste because you didn't act on your impulses. Live your life the way you are entitled to Chichiri, full of love and joy."

Her image started to fade then, becoming ghost like, until even the outline of her frame was barely visible. Panicking, he flung out his right arm, reaching for her, but his outstretched hand passed right through her. "Kouran, onegai! Don't leave, I don't want you to go yet. Kouran!"

As the last traces of his fiancée faded, Chichiri's arm dropped, falling into his lap. "Kouran…did you really mean what you said…?"

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Tasuki sighed for what he figured had to have been the hundredth time that night. The fact that he was actually sharing a bed with Chichiri was both a dream come true and one of his worst nightmares all rolled into one. That he was here in the same bed was nigh miraculous, but he couldn't even pull Chichiri into his arms without a bunch of embarrassing questions being raised in the morning, and that was absolute torture. *Oh Suzaku, what'd I fuckin' do ta deserve this. Gomen nasai. Whatever horrible thing I did I'm fuckin' sorry fer it.*

Tasuki rolled onto his side, propping his head on one hand, staring at the gorgeous vision before him. Sometime while he hadn't been paying attention, Chichiri had shifted his position so he was facing Tasuki. His head was pillowed on his right arm, left hand curled up beneath his chin. *He looks…not happy exactly…demo…content, yeah, content.*

Finally giving in to the urge he's had since the monk first fell asleep, Tasuki reached out with one slightly shaking hand. He hesitated a moment before letting his fingers brush across Chichiri's temple, pushing aside the limp bangs partially hiding his face. A finger traced the jagged scar across Chichiri's eye, following the raised tissue to the bridge of his nose, then moving down to caress a pale cheek, thumb stroking the soft flesh. *So beautiful.*

Chichiri moaned suddenly, and Tasuki jerked his arm sharply, bringing it back to his side. *Oh shit. Don' be wakin' up.*

Instead of the mahogany eye he expected to flutter open, all the monk did was shift slightly, sighing softly, a tiny smile on his lips. *He's dreamin', ain't he? Wonder what it's about. It's gotta be good, 'cause Chiri sure seems ta be enjoyin' himself.* His hope once again began to flare. *What if he's dreamin' 'bout me. I mean, we are in bed together, an' all the time we were on the road he ain't ever had dreams like this, I think. So…maybe it's me…maybe I'm the reason Chiri's havin' thoughts like that, 'cause he's so close ta me.*

When Chichiri called out, all of Tasuki's fragile hope was shattered. "Kou…Kouran!"

Devastated, the bandit's heart sank. *Why'd I even bother? It's obvious Chiri's still in love with Kouran. What kinda chance would I have had? Kouran's a woman, an' last time I checked I was a guy, so Chiri'd never go fer me.*

Tasuki bit his lip, trying to prevent the sobs that threatened to make themselves heard. One fang dug into his bottom lip, deep enough for him to taste the coppery tang of blood. Tasuki could feel it, the all-encompassing despair that swirled within his body. Looking at the sleeping monk was suddenly excruciatingly painful. He turned, facing the wall, choking back sobs and blinking back tears, refusing to allow them to be shed.

His silently shuddering frame seemed to be waking Chichiri up, he was shifting constantly, agitated, the fingers of his right hand twitching. Not wanting to bother him, Tasuki slipped out of the bed. Standing at the foot, he turned his blurred vision towards the man he loves. *I wish ya would take that mask of yours off more often. Actually, I jus' wish ya wouldn' wear that fuckin' piece of paper at all. 'Cause…even if I can' be with ya, yer lettin' me be able ta see the real mood yer in will help me keep ya happy. That's all I want Chiri…is fer ya ta be happy…with, or without me. I can live with that, I guess, jus' bein' yer friend. Fer now at least, though I don' know how long it'll be 'fore I fuckin' loose control an' do something I'll regret.*

Tasuki's hands tightened into fists at his side, a familiar fanged, cocky grin crossed his features. *'Sides, I ain't plannin' on givin' up on ya jus' yet Chiri. Not till ya punch me in the face an' say yer never gonna give me a shot. Until that happens yer stuck with me. I might be a baka, but I'm a damn stubborn baka.*

A snort of amusement broke the previous quiet of the room. Tasuki brought a hand to his mouth, trying in vain to smother his laughter. *I gotta get out of here. Don' want Chiri ta wake up an' ask why I'm losin' it.*

Suppressing another snicker Tasuki slinked quietly towards the door, easily avoiding walking into the sparse furniture, his eyes already having been adjusted to the dark. After one last longing look towards the bed, Tasuki opened the door just enough to slip through. He made sure to be careful when he closed it behind him, being as silent as possible.

Walking through the dimly lit hallways, Tasuki never encountered any of his men. Leaving the building altogether the red head traveled a well-worn path until he reached a small clearing.

A small pond was situated near the middle, surrounded by tall reeds. Years ago Tasuki had managed, with Chichiri's help, to drag a couple of large rocks to the edge of the pond, effectively creating a crude pair of chairs. A lone tree stood ten feet from the little pool. It was an ancient willow tree, the only one, as far as he knew, on the entire mountain.

Bypassing the crystal blue water Tasuki plopped down underneath the tree, leaning against the trunk, legs splayed out in front of him. Tasuki ran a hand through his hair, mussing up the already unruly locks. "Geez…Kouji, man…I don' think I can do this any fuckin' longer. I know I made a promise ta ya…but I guess I actually am a coward. Heh, looks like you were right after all. You always were the smarter one outta us, you seen this comin' way 'fore I did, didn'cha?"

Sighing, Tasuki let his head fall back, hitting the trunk with a small thud. "Man, I miss ya buddy. I really wish ya were still here. You'd kick my ass till I fessed up ta Chiri, I'd bet. Why'd ya have ta die Kouji?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Flashback~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Trees flashed by in a green and brown blur as Tasuki used the speed, that had saved his own life so many times, to try to save another. He didn't care how much noise he was making, crashing through the brush, twigs and rotting leaves snapping and crunching beneath his feet. Low branches stung his face, long red welts forming on the tanned flesh. Tasuki ignored the slight pain, it was inconsequential compared to the feelings coming from his ribs. Every step he took was met with burning agony, the arrow imbedded in his side twisting, each jar causing more blood to spill, soaking his shirt and running sluggishly down his side.

There was no time to dwell on the injury though, nor was there time for stealth. Kouji was depending on him. *This is my fault. I know it is. I should've known those assholes were goin' ta attack us sooner or later, and since Chiri ain't here they sure picked a damn great time ta try ta wipe us out. I fucked up, let all the guys down, an' now Kouji's in trouble.*

Tasuki gripped his tessen tighter, knuckles turning white, his anger growing, both at the enemy bandits and himself. Finally making it close to where he knew Kouji would be, Tasuki grit his teeth, readying himself for battle and whatever else he might find. Bursting into the area his stomach gave a painful lurch at the sight that greeted him. Kouji was kneeling on the blood splattered ground, daggers still grasped in his shaking fists, his face screwed up in a look of intense suffering. 

It didn't look like Tasuki was going to be needing his tessen any time soon. Kouji had obviously taken care of this area before he'd gotten there. Lying scattered around were the bodies of at least ten bandits. A quick scan had Tasuki reassured that they weren't his men. His gaze strayed back to his best friend. 

Letting one knife clatter to the ground, Kouji wrapped an arm around his middle and it was then that Tasuki noticed how dark his friend's shirt was, and how pale the normally deeply tanned skin was. The scarred bandit raised his eyes, acknowledging Tasuki's presence, managing a small smile. Amber eyes widened in horror and panic, as Kouji's grip on the other dagger loosened, then fell from nerveless fingers.

Ignoring the fact that there could have been someone lurking around, ready to kill him, Tasuki rushed to Kouji's side, dropping down onto his knees, the tesson falling, forgotten. Swallowing hard, gathering his courage, Tasuki pried Kouji's arm from the wound. He bit back his initial response to gasp, and instead squeezed his eyes shut, trying to dispel the urge to throw up. There was a long, deep slash across Kouji's torso, leading from just under his ribs on the left side to his waist on the right side. The blood was dark, near black, and Tasuki fought the urge to whimper. From what he'd managed to learn from Mitsukake, that was a very bad sign. He could practically remember Mitsukake's deep voice answering a question he'd asked all those years ago. "_If the blood is that dark Tasuki, it usually means the liver has been punctured."_

He did whimper then, remembering that the second question Mitsukake had answered for him had been that there is no way to save someone with an injury like that, except for Mitsukake's own healing powers. *But he's not here, an' I can't do a damn thing ta save my best friend, the guy whose saved my ass more times then I can count.*

The shock and the weakness from blood loss finally affected Kouji. He swayed dangerously before toppling backwards, prevented from hitting the ground only by Tasuki, who caught him. Tasuki cradled the other man's body to his, Kouji's back pressed against his chest, lower body halfway propped on his upper thighs. He pressed both hands against the heavily bleeding wound, trying to stop or at least slow the flow. As soon as Kouji was in his arms, he could tell immediately that Kouji wasn't going to last too much longer. He wasn't nearly as warm as he should have been, especially since he'd been fighting and it was a hot day. Kouji definitely wasn't as warm as Tasuki remembered the man being.

A shift in Kouji's position shook him from his thoughts, the wound in his side angrily reminding him that it was still there and not going to tolerate being ignored. Determined to be focused on just Kouji alone, Tasuki used every trick he'd ever picked up from Chichiri to distance himself from the pain singing across his nerves. One hand sought out and found one of Kouji's, and he twined their fingers together, desperately clinging to him. The blood that covered his hand made his grip slick, making it harder to hold onto Kouji. Swallowing back bile, Tasuki opened his mouth to speak for the first time since finding Kouji. Before he could get any words past the lump in his throat, Kouji gave a sharp gasp, twisting enough to be able to look Tasuki in the eyes. "Gomen nasai, Tasuki. I didn't mean to let those bastards get a hit in."

Tasuki shook his head frantically, tears threatening to fall. "Not yer fault, buddy. It's not yer fault, never yer fault."

Kouji's eyes narrowed, his grip on Tasuki's hand tightening. "Tasuki." His voice was firm, reprimand clear in the tone. "This is not your fault. Unless I've gone nuts, you weren't one of those guys that attacked us, and I'd be pretty damn impressed if you would've known that they were coming today."

"I should 'a been able ta keep ya safe. Ya shouldn't have had ta defend this place by yerself, I should 'a sent some of the men ta help you."

"I'll tell you just one more time Tasuki, and listen to me this time. You ain't all knowing." Kouji gave a weak grin then continued, "Hell, you aren't even all that smart buddy, even I can out think you, and that's saying something 'cause my smarts sure ain't anything to yell about." The smile faded, his face growing serious once more. "You can think whatever else you want to, but I'm not going to let you blame yourself for this. And besides, I think I'm the one that's supposed to be placing the blame on someone, since I'm the guy laying here dying."

Kouji winced, immediately regretting his choice of words at the stricken look on Tasuki's face, his face pale, eyes wide in a mixture of horror and disbelief, his jaw hanging slack. His mouth worked, forming the beginnings of words, only to have them come out sounding choked. Bottom lip trembling, Tasuki clenched his teeth, before managing to get out, "Don't say that!" his voice panicked, cracking halfway through the sentence, ending at a higher pitch.

"Gomen Tasuki, I didn't mean for it to come out like that…but…you do realize that it's true, right? I mean, neither of us are a doctor, but we've seen enough to know there's no getting better from this."

The hand that wasn't held in Tasuki's near bone crunching grip moved to his abdomen, pushing Tasuki's hand away from the wound. "Wha…what are ya doin'?!"

"All your doing is trying to delay the inevitable. Onegai, Tasuki. Don't draw this out longer then it should be. Maybe I'm a coward…"

"No! Kouji, no, yer not a coward."

"…But if I'm going to die, I'd rather it was sooner then later." His voice was colored with shame.

"But…I jus'…don' wanna lose you, Kouji." He sounded miserable, defeated, like a child being denied their parents.

"I know. But I think it's time."

"Onegai, Kouji, I don't wanna be alone. Please don' leave me alone." Tasuki pleaded.

Kouji's brows knitted in confusion, head cocking to the side questioningly. "You won't be alone. You've got all the guys, not to mention Chichiri. So what the hell are you talking about?"

"I…sure I got the guys…but yer the one that I can actually be myself around, talk ta without havin' ta think 'bout what I'm sayin'." Pain filled eyes locked onto Kouji's. "You more then anyone knows why I can't be that way 'round Chiri."

"You still haven't told him then, have you?"

"Look Kouji, Chiri ain't important right now. You are. I mean…there's gotta be something that I can do ta help…anything."

"No. You look Tasuki. I'm not going to make it, and yeah, that sucks, but…I'm dealing. I'm more worried 'bout you. About how you're going to do. Please Tasuki, I want you to promise me something."

"Wha…what?" It came out tentative, almost reluctant.

"Tell him. That's what I want you to do. Tell Chichiri how you feel about him. And I want you to keep on living. Be your normal grinning, sake loving self. If you don't get over this, I swear to you, I will find a way to come back and kick your ass."

A watery smile was Tasuki's only response. A painful shudder wracked Kouji's body, and he started coughing. A trickle of blood ran from his mouth, leaving a thin red trail across his cheek. "Promise me…Tasuki. I want…to hear you…say the words." His voice was weak, each word was becoming a strain to get out.

"All right, I promise you Kouji. I will. I promise that I eventually will."

"G…good. I'm going…to miss you Tasuki." His breathing was labored now, lungs struggling for each precious gasp of air. "Arigatou. You've been the best friend…I've ever had. Suki da, Tasuki…"

Kouji's eyes fluttered closed, and he went completely limp in Tasuki's arms. "Kouji?" Tasuki's voice was meek, agonized. "Kouji, please don't die."

He knew it was too late though, Kouji's chest no longer rose and fell with every breath. He was still. Much too still. He hugged the body of the man that had been his best friend, and occasional lover tighter. "Nonononono. This can' be happenin'. Ya can' be dead, ya jus' can' be!"

The tears that had been threatening to fall for the last while finally won out. Sobbing, he traced his fingers over the contours of Kouji's face, memorizing every detail, before letting his arm fall. Resting his head on top of Kouji's, his tears soaking his navy hair, he shed all the tears that he would allow himself over the death of his best friend.

Tasuki lifted his head, tears still streaming down his face. Reaching out with one hand, Tasuki gently brushed sweat slicked bangs off of Kouji's forehead. "Even with that damn headband the guy's hair was always getting in the way." There was no trace of humor in his voice, it was flat, grief stricken.

"Gomen nasai, Kouji. I'm sorry I could never love ya like I know ya wanted me to."

Tasuki sat there, cradling Kouji's body, surrounded by the bodies of his enemies. Even when his men had gathered in the clearing, crowing about their victory, until they became somber at the sight of their leader and second in command, Tasuki remained oblivious to everything but what he'd just lost.

~~~~~~~~~~~~End Flashback~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I know I haven't kept my promise ta ya yet, Kouji. I will…I just gotta find the right time ta do it."

Tasuki yawned, and the realization that he's been up for over half the night hit him. *Damn. It's either real late or real early. An' seein' that I don't usually get up till lunch, this is late even fer me.*

He slumped further back onto the tree, settling into a more comfortable position. He closed his eyes, thoughts of everyone he's lost swirling through his mind, as well as Chichiri. *What am I supposed ta da Chiri? Are ya going ta hate me if I tell you.*

Eventually his exhaustion caught up with him, and he slipped off to sleep.

TBC

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I'll try to have the next chapter out by next weekend, if everything goes as planned, and my pre-cal teacher doesn't give out five hours of homework a night again.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I don't own Fushigi Yuugi. And I don't think I ever will.

Chapter 4/?

Rating: PG15

//Chichiri's thoughts//

*Tasuki's thoughts*

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Italics mean a dream or vision

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Chichiri, like usual, was up before dawn. He noticed immediately however, that something was most definitely not usual about this particular morning. He wasn't in his own bed. There was nothing odd about that, he'd woken many mornings either without a bed, or in a rented one at an inn. No, what was wrong was that the actual owner of the bed was missing. The warmth that should have been by his side was absent. //Did Tasuki sleep on the floor after all?//

He dismissed that theory after figuring out that the room was quiet. //I don't hear any snoring, so where is he?//

Getting to his knees, Chichiri peered over the edge of the bed, confirming the fact that Tasuki wasn't in his room, since there weren't any blankets on the floor, and the other pillow was still next to his own. //In all the time I've known him, he's never been up this early. It's usually a fight just to get Tasuki up after ten, before dawn would be out of the question.//

Chichiri slipped out of bed, tossing the sheets aside. He glanced at the tangled bedclothes, that lay in a crumpled heap in the middle of the mattress. //Hmm…must have had a restless night, it almost looks like Tasuki really did spend the night here.//

His eye widened as remnants of last night's dream came back to him. The monk groaned in annoyance as his pants tightened, an occurrence that was happening much too often as of late. //I'm a monk. This shouldn't be happening. I should be able to control myself.// There was, of course, his inner voice, who had a much different opinion. //Come on, you serve Suzaku, the God of Love for crying out loud. I'm sure celibacy wasn't part of the deal. And besides, what's wrong with thinking about Tasuki? He's beautiful, not someone easily ignored. Just give in already, stop fighting, you're just making this harder on yourself.//

Sighing in defeat, Chichiri flopped back onto the bed, instantly regretting the move as his erection rubbed across the tight confines of his pants. He gasped, shifting to try and make himself more comfortable. It didn't work. Willpower alone was obviously not going to work this time. //It probably isn't helping that I had Tasuki clinging to me yesterday. I can still feel him in my arms.//

He shifted again, then shaking his head, sent a silent prayer that Tasuki wouldn't decide to barge in anytime soon. He moved a hand to tentatively stroke the cloth covered bulge, biting back a moan at the first touch. Chichiri pulled his pants halfway down his hips, just enough to fully expose himself, not bothering to get rid of them completely. He closed his hand around his aching shaft, pumping it roughly a few times, before swiping his thumb through the pre-cum collected at the head. He worked slowly down his length, fist tightening every so often.

Chichiri wanted nothing more then for the hand closed around him to be Tasuki's. With the images left over from his dream, he let his imagination take over, closing his eye. He whimpered as his hand sped up on his cock, his mind effortlessly changing his own hand into Tasuki's. It was easy for Chichiri to believe that it was slightly longer, slimmer fingers stroking him, calluses from holding a tessen too often rubbing his sensitive flesh.

His other hand snaked up to his still bare chest, tracing nonsensical patterns on his abdomen on the way, sending small shivers running down his spine. Gasping, he circled a nipple, then grabbed the hardened nub and pinched slightly. The sharp burst of almost pain made the monk's back arch, giving a small cry. His hips jerked, thrusting his member through the tight tunnel his fist had become.

He turned his face to the side, biting down hard onto the pillow, trying to avoid making any more noise. Chichiri spread his legs wide, allowing his fingers access to gently massage his tightly drawn balls, moving further until he reached his entrance.

His breath's were coming in short gasps now, face flushed. His hand moved harder and faster on his arousal. He was close to the edge, needing only a little more to push him off. A single finger pushed into his opening, stroking across the tender tissues. That was all he needed to send him over the edge. He came with a scream, the sound muffled by the pillow still clamped between his teeth. His seed spilled over his hand, some of the warm fluid splashing onto the sheets.

Chichiri lay there panting, basking in the small tremors of residual pleasure that coursed through his body. He felt sort of guilty about what he'd just done. Touching himself while in his best friend's room, and while thinking about the man no less.

He sat up slowly, grimacing at the slightly sticky mess that covered both him and the sheets. Writing the sheets off as ruined anyways, he wiped himself clean with them. Tugging his pants back up, he moved to the pile of belongings he'd left by the bed the night before. Pulling the rest of his clothes on quickly he contemplated the mask momentarily before putting it on. //I wouldn't be able to make it through the day around Tasuki without it.//

Deciding that it was about time he found the elusive bandit leader, Chichiri reached out for his chi. Easily following the same route Tasuki had gone earlier, he soon found himself nearing the clearing. Although he was almost positive that he now knew where Tasuki was, Chichiri focused on him one last time. What he felt made him jerk to a stop, sent him stumbling, barely managing to catch himself before he fell. Tasuki was surrounded by something, a cold, dangerous presence that left him feeling sort of sick. He concentrated again, but there was no longer anything there, it was almost like he'd imagined the entire thing.

Biting his lip he continued at a quicker pace, still feeling uneasy. He made his way quietly into the clearing, not announcing himself just in case. But there was nothing wrong with the scene he was met with, in fact, it was comfortingly familiar. Tasuki lay propped up against a tree, fast asleep. He was snoring, of course, not loudly though, but it was still audible from his position.

Seeing that Tasuki was safe set the monk's nerves at ease. Not wanting to disturb Tasuki, since it wasn't even dawn yet, Chichiri sat on one of the stone seats by the pond. He looked into the small pool. The water was as crystal clear as he remembered, easy to see into. He frowned when he noticed something. //There aren't any fish in here. I know it's been a while since I was last here, but I'm almost positive that they were here before. That's why I could never fish the way I wanted to on Mt. Leikaku, because I'd be sure to catch something.//

He made a mental note to ask Tasuki about that later. Inevitably his gaze strayed to the sleeping bandit. Chichiri got up and made his way silently to Tasuki, sitting down a mere few feet away, within reaching distance. He didn't know how long he sat there studying the younger seishi's features. It had to have been an hour or so, because the sun was starting to rise now. Tasuki's flaming hair looked brilliant in the lighting, the first rays of sunlight catching the golden highlights. //I wonder if his hair is as soft and silky as it looks?// 

He caught himself just before his fingers made contact with the hair in question. He glared at his traitorous hand, clasping them in his lap to prevent a repeat offence. //This isn't good. My being here is going to end in disaster, I just know it. It's getting way too hard for me to keep my feelings to myself. Not to mention keeping my hands to myself. Tasuki's both the only reason I still wear the mask, and the reason that I want to take it off. It was because of his help and support that I got over the belief that my scar was hideous, and needed to be covered. I don't care if people see the scar now. Especially at the stronghold, since there are a couple of guys here that are scarred even worse, and besides, I know it doesn't bother Tasuki to see my real face. On the other hand, the mask is the only thing left that prevents Tasuki from reading the emotions that would show clearly on my face…I don't want to, but I think I'm going to have to leave again. As soon as possible. I can't risk having Tasuki find out yet.//

Chichiri was drawn out of his thoughts by a small groan. Tasuki was waking up. Without opening his eyes he stretched, his back arching like a cat being pet. Yawning, he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes, his shirt riding up a bit, giving Chichiri a brief glimpse of rock hard stomach, causing a bolt of arousal to shoot to Chichiri's groin.

Half hard already, the glimpse of skin did nothing to help slake his lust for the red head. //Not now! Geez, I guess I'm lucky my hands are already covering my lap. I've got to change the direction these thoughts are going.//

"Tasuki? What exactly are you doing sleeping outside under a tree when you could have been in a bed, no da?" //That's a great way to think. Great, now I'm thinking about Tasuki in bed.//

Tasuki blinked sleepily. *Umm…oh boy…it's too early ta think.* "I, ah, jus' needed some time ta think Chiri. I didn' mean ta fall asleep. I actually do this a lot, thinkin' out here, I mean, not the sleepin' part."

"What were you thinking about Tasuki, no da?"

Tasuki froze mentally. *Dammit! I can't flat out lie ta Chiri.* "I've been thinkin' 'bout Kouji an' all the others. I miss them so much Chiri."

"I know Tasuki. So do I. You don't have to worry, one day all of us will be reunited again."

"Yea, I get that, I do. It's jus', not ta sound morbid or anythin' but…I've been wonderin' how long it'll be 'fore we're all together again." His voice was soft, subdues.

"When fate decides it Tasuki. Only when fate determines that our time here is over."

*Fate. Is fate ever goin' ta give me a damn chance ta be with Chiri, or is it goin' ta fuck me over, curse me ta be alone forever?*

Tasuki's golden eyes looked so sad and strangely defeated to Chichiri. To try and distract him from whatever unhappy thoughts he was having, the monk asked the first question that popped into his mind. "Ne, Tasuki? Where'd all the fish go? Why aren't there any fish in the pond anymore, no da?"

Lying outright to Chichiri, Tasuki replied with, "Ano…they must'a all died or sumthin'."

*That's the best ya could come up with? They died! Ugh…I'm not awake enough ta get imaginative. I know they didn't fuckin' die. I was hoping Chiri would come back, an' I know he likes ta spend time in the mornin' fishing in places where he won't catch anything. So I took them outta there and chucked 'em in the river.*

Before Chichiri had a chance to ask him anymore questions, Tasuki suddenly turned to him asked one of the questions Chichiri's been dreading since he first got back. "How long are ya goin' stay fer anyways? Ya never did tell me."

The monk decided he should just be honest with Tasuki. "I'll be leaving again tomorrow morning, no da."

Tasuki's face fell. *What'd I do this time. He jus' got here, and he already wants ta leave. Does he wanna get away from me 'cause he doesn't think we're all that close anymore.*

Chichiri saw the crestfallen expression on Tasuki's face, and his heart and conscience tugged guiltily at him. He opened his mouth, prepared to say something, but snapped his jaw shut right away. //What are you supposed to say to him now? Apologize for coming back into his life, only to end up running out again.//

Just then a brown haired bandit ran into the clearing, calling out, "Genrou!" He skidded to a halt in front of them. "There you are. Damn, I think this is the first time I've seen you outta bed before lunch." It was then that he took notice of Chichiri. "Oops…guess I don't have any manners. Heh. You've got to be Chichiri, right?" Without waiting for an answer he ploughed on with a slight shake of his head and a wave of his hand. "Of course your Chichiri. Even I can't manage to convince Genrou to get out of bed. Begging and bribery don't even work. It's better to just stay in bed, what with the way he is and everything. Oh yeah. I'm Li by the way, Genrou's second in command." Grasping one of Chichiri's hands in both of his, he shook it enthusiastically, a huge grin on his face, corners of his eyes crinkling. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Genrou's told me so much abou-"

The babbling bandit was cut off abruptly by the hand that pressed against his mouth. Chuckling, the sounds coming out nervously, Tasuki said, "Breathe, Li, breathe. Now, why are ya lookin' fer me?"

When Li's response was muffled and not at all discernable, Tasuki reluctantly removed his hand, wary of what the other man would say. Looking huffy and more then a little annoyed, green eyes snapping in anger, Li ground out, "I SAID, there's some business that we need to take care of." Knowing the older man was going to whine and complain, he added, "Now!" in a tone that brooked no argument.

Seething on the inside, Tasuki admitted, at least to himself, that Li was definitely the take charge, 'I don't take any shit', kind of guy that would be a great boss one day. Almost petulantly he thought, *He shouldn't be able ta order ME around though.*

Seeing as Tasuki still wasn't moving, Li growling in irritation, grabbed Tasuki's sleeve and started to drag him away. Tasuki blinked in surprise, one eyebrow raised, grunting and looking pointedly at the taller man's hand, giving a small tug. His second in command refused to relinquish his grip however, shrugging at the withering look Tasuki gave him. Realizing that this was just the distraction he needed to get away from Chichiri for a while, Tasuki decided to fry Li's ass with the tessen later. Even as he went willingly, Li still didn't let him go. Tasuki rolled his eyes at the sheer determination Li was showing, but he allowed himself to be led away.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After Li had left with Tasuki in tow, Chichiri had spent the rest of the day in that same clearing, hardly moving, in a state of numb disbelief and despair. He was battling with himself over what Li had meant by what he had said. //His words could have been completely innocent. They probably weren't meant to imply anything. But why would he need to convince Tasuki to get up. Okay, he is the second in command, I don't know, maybe it's one of the things Tasuki has him do. And what did he mean by it's better to just stay in bed. He'd better have been talking about his own bed.// He slapped himself mentally. //Stop being so paranoid. Tasuki would have told me if he and Li were together. Wouldn't he? Besides, it's not really any of my business even if they are sleeping together.//

His thoughts a chaotic mess, Chichiri knelt to try and meditate. Relaxing his tense muscles, he slowed his breathing, eye drifting shut. He reached for the prayer beads hanging around his neck. As his hand closed around them, images started to flash across his mind

__

Pictures of Tasuki are all that he is able to see. Nothing about where the bandit is is visible. Not that it would have mattered. It was Tasuki himself that drew all of Chichiri's attention. He was obviously unconscious, laying there, limbs sprawled haphazardly. He was bleeding, bruised, and broken. Although unconscious, in the background Chichiri can hear Tasuki. He cringed as the sound of Tasuki's pain filled screams rent the air, as well as desperate pleas. Chichiri couldn't make out the words, though he could tell Tasuki was terrified, and that the screams were most likely the result of him being tortured.

The scene shifted then, and what he saw next scared him the most. Tasuki was crying. His bruised face was tearstained, tears still flowing freely down his face. His amber eyes were glittering, dark lashes shimmering with tears. Nothing but the loss of the other seishi and Kouji had made him cry before. Chichiri knew instinctually, that it's not him that Tasuki is crying for however, it's something else altogether.

All through this, Chichiri could feel the same thing as when he'd reached for Tasuki's chi on the trail. That same cold, evil presence, although much worse then when he'd first felt it.

He released the beads quickly. His entire body was shaking uncontrollably, tears of his own streaming down his face. "What…what was that? Was that real? An actual vision?"

He shuddered, resisting the urge to close his eye, dreading the return of any of those images. "That really was real, wasn't it? I can't leave Tasuki here alone, no way. Whatever it was that I've felt, is concentrating on Tasuki."

Chichiri knew that if there was to be a battle, the other bandits would only be killed. //I have to take Tasuki with me when I go. No matter how hard it's going to be on me.//

TBC

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Okay, it's official, Chichiri has become a freaking hentai in my fic. 

--Glares at the outline-- Bah, useless thing! Why didn't you warn me this was going to happen!? I so didn't plan on having Chichiri's little morning *cough* exercise, it just kinda slipped in there. So much for me using an outline to write, I've already veered away from it. Oh well.

One more thing. I have a question to ask everyone. Who would you like to confess their feelings first. Technically, I think it could go either way and still fit into the plot. I've figured out that'll happen in chapter 6, along with a lemon, but the version I post here won't have the lemon, since I don't want the fic to be taken down again. The lemon version will be posted in several places, including my website and a few Fushigi Yuugi yaoi ML's. Getting off topic now. Which would you prefer, Tasuki or Chichiri confessing. You can either e-mail me with your suggestion, or include it in your review (hint hint) ^__^

Chapter 5 will be posted Thursday or Friday, depending on how much homework I have.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I don't own Fushigi Yuugi. And I don't think I ever will.

Chapter 5/10

Rating: R

//Chichiri's thoughts//

*Tasuki's thoughts*

__

Italics mean a dream or vision

A/N The reason this took me forever to write is at the bottom. Well, actually there are two reasons but whatever.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chichiri woke the next morning with worry still hanging in a heavy cloud above his head. He'd wanted to have left yesterday, but was unable to get Tasuki away from the necessary duties being boss demanded of him. He'd fallen asleep fully dressed, having been waiting for Tasuki to come back to their room. But he'd never shown up.

Not caring that his clothes were wrinkled and looked decidedly slept in, Chichiri left the bed. With his worry preoccupying his thoughts, he never noticed the dirty sheets he'd left here yesterday were gone, replaced with fresh ones.

Once out in the hallway, Chichiri flagged down the next bandit he found, not bothering to try to locate Tasuki by his chi. "Could you tell me where I'd be able to find Tasuki, no da?"

"You mean Genrou? I think he's in Li's room. The two of them have been holed up in there since…uh, a while anyways." Anticipating the monk's next question the bulky man said, "Li's room is that way." pointing down the hall. "Five doors down from the bosses place."

"Arigatou." 

When Chichiri got to the door he stopped, seriously considering just leaving now, without Tasuki. //Iie! It's not safe for him here. He needs to be with me.//

Raising his hand, he knocked once then pushed the door open and let himself in. The gazes of both of the men inside turned to meet Chichiri, something flicked in Tasuki's eyes the moment they met Chichiri's. A mixture of fear, apprehension, anguish, anger, and oddly enough, guilt. //Did he spend the whole night with Li?// Looking at the two closely he decided that they both looked a little rumpled. A wave of disapointment swept through his body. //Li is handsome enough. If Tasuki was interested he'd be a good choice, has a lot more in common with Tasuki.//

Tasuki's voice broke him from his thoughts. "So…are ya gonna leave now?" His voice was rough, unused, as if he'd just woken up.

He nodded dumbly, then answered with, "Hai. But I'm only going if you'll come with me Tasuki." He didn't ask him if he wanted to go, the issue wasn't up for debate.

Tasuki jerked in surprise, eyes widening, filling with joy. "I'd love ta come with ya Chiri. I miss the days when it was jus' the two of us travelin' together."

Chichiri's immediate relief was disturbed by the sound of a throat clearing, obviously vying for attention. Tasuki, a goofy grin plastered on his face, eyes still shining with happiness, looked to Li, the source of the noise. "Genrou, how exactly do you plan on being our boss if you ain't even here?"

For one horrible moment Chichiri feared he was going to change his mind, decide not to go, and stay on Mt. Leikaku. Tasuki looked to Chichiri for a second, then looked back at Li. He laughed then, most likely picking up on Chichiri's anxiousness, and the expression of reprimand on Li's face. "What do ya think I've been doin' with ya? Hell, Li, fer the past two years I've been trainin' ya ta take over fer me, not be my second in command forever."

Seeing Li's shell shocked expression made him laugh harder. Tasuki snorted, trying to compose himself. "From this minute on, you are now the official leader of the Mt. Leikaku bandits. I give my command over ta you. Ya better take damn good care of the guys. I want ya ta prove ta me that I made the right choice by pickin' ya."

Li nodded seriously, still trying to wrap his mind around the fact that he was no in charge. "You won't have to worry Genrou. I learned everything I could possibly need to know from you. And to tell you the truth, I figured this day would come. I knew you wouldn't want to hang around here for the rest of your life."

Chichiri caught the slight inflection of Li's voice, the hint of sadness that crept into the tone, not to mention the look of longing he shot in Tasuki's direction. Before he was able to dwell on that bit of information, Li had moved to him. Slinging an arm around Chichiri's shoulders, he said, his tone light, almost uncaring, "You take good care of Genrou." His previously friendly arm tightened, to the point of being painful. His voice lowered, reaching a whisper that only Chichiri was able to hear. "You'd better keep him outta trouble, and bring him back to me in one piece. Or else…"

It was a threat. Chichiri could tell that it was, even though the friendly smile was still on his face, most likely for Tasuki's benefit. "You don't have to worry Li, I don't plan on letting anything happen to him." //I'll protect him with my life if it ever comes to that.//

Shrugging out of Li's grip, Chichiri went to the door. He was relieved that Tasuki was coming with him, but wanted to leave as soon as possible. As he opened the door and mved to go, he said, "Tasuki, when you're ready, meet me outside on the trail, no da."

He left before any protests about leaving already could issue forth from Tasuki.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Later that day, miles away from Mt. Leikaku, the sun starting to set, Tasuki was doing some thinking. *Yer such a baka, ya know that.* The shame he'd been feeling off and on all day came back. *I can't believe I freaked so bad when Chiri found me with Li. I can't believe I got so damn pissed when I realized that Chiri was there ta say goodbye. And how jealous I got when Li touched Chiri. I can't even count the number of times I've done sumthin' like that myself.*

Tasuki shook his head in annoyance. *Oh well, at least he still wants me around. I sure am pretty damn grateful that he let me tag along this time.* He shifted the bag that he had slung over a shoulder, the reminder of the pack made the corners of his mouth twitch in amusement. *Bet I forgot sumthin', packing so fuckin' fast an' all.*

After Chichiri had left the room he's muttered some last minute advice to Li, then ran for his room. He'd burst through the door, and in his haste, he had tripped over a chair, sending him face first into the floor. A wide assortment of colorful curses aimed at the chair and his own stupidity, as well as a few angry kicks to said chair, and satisfied, he'd gotten back to business. Grabbing a bag from under the bed, he'd quickly stuffed some extra clothes, a few blankets, and the three sake bottles he had sitting on the table. He'd hightailed it out of there right after to meet Chichiri.

Besides a quick, "Let's get goin'." Tasuki hadn't said a thing to his companion. He was trailing behind Chichiri by a good ten feet. *This is goin' ta be tough, bein' with Chiri all the time. Well, I did it before, survived bein' quiet 'bout my feelings. Although…I don't think Chiri had wet dreams 'bout Kouran last time I was with him.* His cheeks took on a pink tinge as he remembered the surprise he'd found when he went back to his room the morning Chichiri had found him outside. It hadn't been hard to figure out that Chichiri's dream had been quite exciting, if the condition of the sheets and the smell that still lingered in the air were anything to judge by. He'd gotten rid of the ruined bedding, replacing it with fresh sheets, a dull ache burning in his chest the entire time. *Maybe I should jus' tell him I love him already. I don' think he'd snub me or hate me or anything like that.* A part of him was agreeing with this thought, telling him he didn't have anything to lose. Yet the larger part of him was screaming about what he could lose if he spilled his guts. He'd lose Chichiri himself, maybe not totally, but their friendship would never be the same. Chichiri would act different, always wondering about any friendly hugs, pats, or touches, if they still meant something more to him. "Jus' shut up already!" he shouted. *I'm not goin' ta do it, jus' stop thinkin'.*

Chichiri, who up to this moment, had been puzzled as to how quiet and distant Tasuki was acting, let out a startled, "Da!?"

*Shit! Gotta say sumthin'.* "Err…where are we goin' anyways Chiri?"

Inwardly, he answered with, //As far from the evil as possible.// Out loud he says, "I'm not sure, no da. I'm just going to keep walking." Looking up at the darkening horizon Chichiri came to a decision. "I think it's late enough to stop for the day, no da."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After a simple dinner of fish, which Tasuki complained about the entire time he was stuffing his face, Tasuki curled up near the fire, falling asleep almost right away.

The bandit's predictable reaction to what he was eating helped set Chichiri's mind at ease. //He's acted so different since I got back. More distant, distracted, and he's avoided a lot of the questions I've asked him. How long has this been going on? He didn't act this way towards me when we used to travel, did he? Iie. I would have noticed something like that. This is new behavior of Tasuki's. maybe he's just grown up since I've been gone, started to take life more seriously. That much at least is true. He doesn't act like the cocky teenager he used to be.//

The sound of Tasuki's voice brought his gaze to the sleeping man. He was grumbling under his breath, shifting uncomfortably. Tasuki finally settled back down, having twisted onto his stomach, head pillowed on his arms. His movements had pushed the blankets down around his waist.

Smiling faintly, Chichiri leaned over to pull the blanket back up around Tasuki's shoulders, knowing it'll get colder later in the night. Unruly red hair had fallen across Tasuki's face, and Chichiri's ever so disobedient hand brushed the locks out of the way. He shook his head at the position the younger man was in. //Hope he shifts again at some point tonight, or his arms are going to fall asleep. Then I'll have to listen to him complain all morning.//

Chichiri just sat there for a while, contemplating the red head in front of him, thoughts a chaotic swirling mess.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

__

Tasuki fidgeted nervously, not knowing if he'd made the right decision or not. He took in Chichiri's face, searching for a glimpse of what he could possibly say. He didn't find much, or at least not what he was looking for. Chichiri's face held only an open, innocent curiosity. *He'll be a little less innocent after I talk ta him.*

Swallowing, Tasuki gathered his courage, biting his lip, grasping for the right words. He shifted his stance, automatically taking up a defensive posture. *Well, I'll jus' make this short. Short, simple, an' to the point.* "I…I l-love y-you Chichiri. An' not jus' like a best friend." *Okay, no reaction yet. Let's try that again without all the stutterin' this time.* "Yea, I love you Chichiri." This time his voice was stronger, more confidant. 

Tasuki watched in amazement as the smile spread across Chichiri's face, every feature brightening with joy. He stood still, not daring to move as the other man leaned close, nearly sobbing as soft lips brushed against his own.

The kiss was over before Tasuki could do anything about it. He let out a soft whimper as Chichiri pulled back, and his hands reached out, desperately pulling the monk back to him. He crushed their mouths together, tongue snaking out to lap delicately against Chichiri's closed lips. They parted for him, and Tasuki immediately took the opportunity to slip his tongue into the other man's mouth. Chichiri hesitated only a moment before reciprocating, his own tongue twining with Tasuki's.

Chichiri pulled the bandit closer to him and Tasuki's moan was swallowed as he felt the hardness pressing against his hip. One hand slid from its position around Chichiri's back to snake between their bodies. A long fingered hand crept down the monk's abdomen to come to a rest cupping his groin. A gentle squeeze and Chichiri groaned, eyes closing and his head tipping backwards, exposing a long pale neck.

Tasuki couldn't resist. He just had to taste it. He lowered his head, nuzzling his nose against Chichiri's collarbone, inhaling the scent that belonged solely to his best friend. Tasuki licked his way up the expanse of flesh, stopping just above his Adam's apple. He sucked on the soft skin, hard enough to quickly leave a mark. Pulling away briefly, Tasuki smiled proudly at the reddened skin, before lowering his head again and continuing on his path upwards.

Chichiri was moaning, trembling, by the time Tasuki made it back to his lips. The bandit raised a hand to caress the other's cheek. Tasuki gave him a quick peck on the lips, then let go, dropping down to his knees.

Before Chichiri could fully register what was happening, Tasuki's quick hands were already fumbling with the laces binding his pants. When his brain was finally able to catch up with what was happening he jerked in surprise, his own hands moving to still the questing digits that had nearly achieved their goal. "What are-" Chichiri started.

Tasuki cut him off, looking up at him, amber eyes pleading. "Onegai. Let me do this for you, please Chiri-chan."

Chichiri nodded, and a moment later his pants were pushed down around his knees. Tasuki stared at Chichiri's arousal for a moment, licking his lips, wanting nothing more then to wrap his mouth around the hard length in front of him. However, Tasuki, being Tasuki was not going to make it that easy for his new lover. He placed one hand firmly against Chichiri's hip, wanting to keep him in place. The other hand moved to stroke and caress the flesh of his thighs, lips joining in the caresses a minute later.

Chichiri's breath hitched, and when he let out a breathy "Onegai!" Tasuki decided to take pity on him.

A quick wet swipe of his tongue from root to tip then Tasuki closed his moth around Chichiri's cock, taking him in as far as he could. Chichiri's hands came down to clutch handfuls of red hair, tugging lightly. He swirled his tongue around then sucked firmly, pulling drawn out moans from the throat of the man above him. Relaxing his throat, Tasuki slid even further down Chichiri's shaft, swallowing hard, his muscles massaging the hard flesh in his mouth.

With a choked off cry Chichiri came, hands tightening in Tasuki's hair. Tasuki ignored the slight pain from his abused head, instead savoring the salty bitter fluid as it filled his mouth. He swallowed quickly, not wanting to lose any of the liquid. He licked the softening length until every last trace of seed was gone before releasing him.

Chichiri pulled Tasuki back to his feet, stealing a small kiss before leaning in to whisper in his ear, "What to do about you?" all the while stroking him through his pants.

Tasuki gasped, biting his lip, pressing himself up into Chichiri's hand as pleasure coursed through his veins.

Chichiri slid his hands up to Tasuki's shoulders, fingers tracing slightly defined muscle. His fingers stroked and caressed the tanned skin lightly through the material of the bandit's shirt.

Without warning he tightened his grip, fingers digging cruelly into Tasuki's arms, short nail pressed painfully into the skin. Stunned, Chichiri's harsh shove managed to knock Tasuki to the ground with little effort. Chichiri immediately straddled the younger man, hands reaching to pin Tasuki's wrists firmly to his sides.

Tasuki had always been stronger physically than his friend, however his struggles for freedom didn't gain him anything but sore wrists. Nothing he did would dislodge the man on top of him. Tasuki stilled when Chichiri pressed his thumbs down hard against the small, delicate bones in his wrists, knowing he wouldn't hesitate before breaking them.

Chichiri shifted and Tasuki was horrified when he realized the monk was hard again. His renewed erection was pressed against Tasuki's stomach as he leaned forward slightly. A sneer marred the usually cheerful features of his friends face. A short mirthless laugh escaped Chichiri's mouth, the sound completely foreign to Tasuki. "I've got you right where I want you. Right where you belong Tasuki."

Scared now, Tasuki looked hard at the man who looks identical to the man he was in love with. Swallowing back his fear, Tasuki asked, "Who or what are ya, an' what do ya want?"

A sinister looking grin was the only answer he got. In the next moment Chichiri's features started to shift, blurring and changing. Tasuki soon found himself sprawled underneath a reasonably attractive man. His build was larger than Chichiri's, the extra musculature obvious. He had short black hair, slicked back out of his face. The flesh Tasuki could see was deeply tanned, and looked smooth, free of wrinkles or blemishes. Black lines from some sort of tattoo were showing at his neck, as well as curled around the exposed wrist and fingers of his left hand. His eyes though, while a shade of green Tasuki would normally have found bewitching, were cold and lifeless.

The grin widened, the corners of his lips twitching in amusement. "You're rather bright, aren't you boy? You don't need to know who I am, or at least not yet. But trust me, we'll be meeting soon enough. And I can hardly wait."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tasuki's eyes snapped open, sitting up quickly, kicking the covers off. He was sweating profusely, and when he lifted a hand to push sweat-slicked hair off his forehead Tasuki realized he was shaking. *Too real. That was too fuckin' real.*

TBC

A/N: Okay, as I mentioned at the beginning there are two reasons this hasn't been updated. The first, and most important is that I don't type this up on the computer as I go. No, I'm old fashioned and write in a notebook first, finishing a chapter or two before typing it up. I'd finished chapters 5, 6 and had started 7...when I lost the notebook. For over a month I tried to find it, obviously without success. That really pissed me off, that I could be stupid enough to lose one of my more important things. (Alright so losing my freaking $70 math book pissed me off too.)

The second reason I haven't written is that I started to lose interest in Fushigi Yuugi. However, a couple of weeks ago I was going through my bookmarks when I came across a fic I hadn't ever read. I figured what the hell, I might as well read it, and boy was I glad I did. It wasn't Chi/Tas, but Nakago/Tasuki. If anybody hasn't read J. Marie's Only Time then I definitely suggest you should. If you need the link just e-mail me. It's a reincarnation fic that is written beautifully. Tasuki and Nakago are so in character that I look at what I wrote and want to call myself a hack. I wasn't going to read this fic since I never thought that pairing would be believable. Oh boy was I wrong. It made me cry a few times, but then I'm a wuss.

Anyways, Aishiteru…Zutto is going to end up being ten chapters. I have them all planned out, just have to write them. Some of the chapters are going to have two different versions since a lemon on ff.net is impossible. I don't even know if chapter 5 is acceptable anymore. I tried not to make it too graphic but who knows. I'll let you know if there is an alternate version and where you can find it. Lemon in the next chapter folks. One of the boys finally spills his guts!

Ja ne!


	6. Chapter 6

Title: Aishiteru…Zutto

Chapter 6/12

Rating: R

//Chichiri's thoughts//

Tasuki's thoughts

When Chichiri woke the next morning, the sun had already been up for a few hours. He'd had a difficult time falling asleep, unable to shake the feeling that he and Tasuki were being watched. His attempts to complete his morning rituals were also being, for the most part, unsuccessful. Chichiri's distraction came in the form of the slender, flame haired, younger seishi that was watching his every move curiously.

Right now he was turned away from Tasuki, attempting to concentrate on his prayers. However, he could practically feel the intense amber gaze burning into his back, making his thoughts falter once again. Chichiri sighed in exasperation, knowing the tenacious young man behind him wouldn't let up until his curiosity was satisfied. The monk shifted, trying to maneuver himself into a position where he was out of Tasuki's line of sight. It didn't work. Instead of deterring him, all the bandit did was turn himself around until he could see again.

Chichiri's eye began to twitch in annoyance, and he let out another sigh before giving up on what he was doing. Whirling around, he shot a glare in Tasuki's direction, huffing in irritation. "What are you looking at, no da? Must you watch me like that; not only does it make me nervous but I can't concentrate either."

Looking properly chastised, Tasuki flushed in embarrassment. "Gomen, Chiri. I didn' mean ta stare at ya, but I've nevah seen ya do this before an' I jus' wanted ta see what it was like. I didn' mean ta make ya uncomfortable, so I'll jus' go over there fer a while." Tasuki apologized, pointing toward a nearby clump of trees.

Scrambling to his feet, Tasuki hurried off, not wanting to stick around for whatever the monk might have wanted to say. Shit…let's jus' add makin' Chiri nervous an' fuckin' up his concentration ta the list of crap ya've done wrong lately. Tasuki made it to the trees and as soon as he was out of sight he plopped down, without watching where he was sitting. The bandit winced as he landed on an uncomfortably sharp rock, but he didn't bother moving. Man, I'm jus' makin' things worse. I try to act as normal as possible 'round Chiri, an' all I manage ta do is make myself look like a baka an' a nuisance.

Tasuki rubbed his eyes with his knuckles until brightly colored lights flashed across his vision. "Aargh!" He let out a short yell of frustration, a rather loud shout which startled a few birds from nearby trees into flight. "That's it! I jus' can' take it anymore. I'm gonna tell him. Jus' blurt it all out an' see how he takes it. Yea, might as well do that no; get it over with an' all that, 'fore I lose my nerve."

Decision made, Tasuki still didn't make a move to get up. He stayed still, chewing his bottom lip thoughtfully, staring unseeing at the scenery in front of him. A moment later, Tasuki's intense contemplation was disturbed as Chichiri came skidding to a halt in front of the thief, staff raised threateningly. "Tasuki-kun!" Are you alright?"

Startled, Tasuki fell backwards, wincing as the sharp rock dug once again into his backside. "What? Chiri, yea I'm fine. But what's with…why the…er…why are ya here?"

"I heard you yell, no da. Thought you might be in trouble." //Thought my vow to keep you protected had been broken, that I was too late to keep you safe from whatever evil is after you.//

Embarrassed that his frustrated shout had alarmed his friend, and touched that even mad, Chichiri came immediately to his aid, Tasuki's cheeks heated up. The blush on those tanned cheeks didn't go unnoticed by Chichiri. Lowering his staff and relaxing his stance, the monk questioned softly, "Tasuki?"

As soon as his surprise had worn off, Tasuki had gone right back to contemplating how to tell Chichiri he loved him. Chichiri noticed the bandit chewing his lip, his eyes staring and distant. "Tasuki? Is there something wrong, no da?"

Tasuki's head snapped up, eyes focusing intensely on Chichiri's face. "Chichiri, there's somethin' that I wanna tell you, and please don' interrupt me or I'll probably never get started again."

Noting just how serious his friend was, Chichiri didn't even answer verbally, just nodded his head in acceptance and encouragement. Steeling himself, Tasuki took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. "Ya see, the thing is…ah Hell, this is goin' ta be harder than I thought'd be. Alright, now 'fore I say this, I jus' wanna tell ya that I've kept this all bottled up fer a while now, I'm not jus' telling ya the moment I figured it out or nothin'. Yea, it's definitely been a while that I've felt like this, seems like it's been forever. Okay I'm jus' runnin' 'round in circles here and pretty soon I'm jus' goin' ta chicken out, so I'll jus' come out an' say it. And boy that was one hell'uva choice of words." After a short pause Tasuki continued. "I love you Chichiri."

Tasuki realized he'd been staring at the ground and quickly looked up at the monk to try and gauge his reaction. Chichiri had gone completely still, frozen with shock. His mask was still off from praying so Tasuki could see that his eye was widened and his mouth was hanging open. After a moment, which felt like days to the bandit, Chichiri's mouth snapped shut, and he managed to push words past lips that had gone numb. "You love me?" //Please Suzaku, let me have heard him right.//

In as deep as he already was Tasuki figured it couldn't hurt to let Chichiri know about his feelings a little more intimately. "I'm _in_ love with you. I need ya ta be in my life. I want ta be in yer arms, safe an' loved. I want ta feel yer body against me an' inside me. An' most important of all I wanna be able ta trust ya with my heart, knowin' ya won' do anythin' ta break it, an' have ya trust me with yours in return. I jus' want ya ta be with me."

Tasuki waited, starting to fidget nervously as the silence from his best friend had dread beginning to crawl an icy path across his chest. He sank his teeth into his bottom lip, biting hard, using that small pain to try and distract himself from the pain that was quickly growing in his heart the longer Chichiri stayed quiet. Tasuki searched his friend's face for any sign that his confession was well received. Chichiri's face was blank, not giving away anything.

Suddenly Chichiri moved, lunging toward Tasuki, who cringed, anticipating a fist to the face. Instead, he was nearly knocked over by the force of the hug Chichiri hit him with. The normally reserved monk lifted the younger man up into a bone crunching hug, mumbling the same sentence over and over. "I love you too. I love you too."

It took Tasuki's addled brain a minute to decipher what he was saying, but when he did his entire body felt like it would burst with happiness. Without realizing what he was doing, the bandit cut off Chichiri's litany with a kiss. It was a hard kiss; full of all of Tasuki's pent up longing and frustration. Chichiri responded in kind, his own frustration pouring out. Tasuki softened the kiss, sucking Chichiri's lower lip into his mouth, nibbling lightly.

Chichiri pulled back, staring at Tasuki in awe. He looked into eyes positively glowing with love and realized just what had been missing from those beautiful amber orbs since he returned. //How could I have been such a baka and not noticed the love shining in his eyes before now?// The monk reached out and did something he'd been wanting to do for a while when the bandit was awake. He brushed the hair back from Tasuki's forehead, and then rested his hand on the redhead's cheek.

Tasuki's eyes were so full of emotion, Chichiri couldn't seem to look away. Tasuki let out a shaky breath, still not sure he wasn't just having another dream. Tentatively, not wanting to ruin the moment, he asked, "Please tell me that this is real, that it ain't some dream I'm goin' ta wake up from."

"Hai, it's real Tasuki, I promise." Tasuki nuzzled his face against the hand that still cupped his cheek, as if trying to prove that everything really was happening.

Tasuki bit his bottom lip, fang chewing nervously at the soft flesh. Chichiri could tell that something was bothering him, that there was something the younger seishi wanted to say. After a moment of contemplation, Tasuki swallowed audibly, bracing himself. Chichiri smiled at him in what he hoped was an encouraging manner, and finally Tasuki spoke. "Chiri, I…I need…um…I need, to ah, I can'…could we maybe, do stuff?"

That jumbled mess of words let Chichiri know just how high strung and nervous Tasuki was right then. //I think I know what he wants, what he was trying to say. Can I really do this though? I may have dreamt about this for a while now, but are we ready for this step?//

Chichiri stared at the man in front of him, taking in the way he looked. Noticing the expectant hope hidden just below the surface, lurking beneath the love that refused to stop showing itself. Despite the passion he knew Tasuki was holding back, the bandit had enough respect for him to not allow anything other then that first kiss without permission. That realization pretty much made his decision for him. Chichiri nodded, "Hai, Tasuki, we can do stuff." He let himself smile at the end, to let Tasuki know he was telling the truth, and was sort of making fun of the younger man's wording.

Amber eyes darkened at his words, and another nod from Chichiri seemed to be all the incentive Tasuki needed. The red head pounced, knocking both of them to the ground. Tasuki's hand caught on the clasp to his kesa, snapping it open. The kesa fell from his shoulders, fluttering away to land on the ground a few feet away. Chichiri grunted as the impact forced the breath out of him, and before he had a chance to recover, Tasuki attacked. In an instant his lips were covered, the tip of Tasuki's tongue licking playfully, seeking entrance. Chichiri yielded to the probing muscle, not only to satisfy Tasuki, but to try and gasp for air.

Chichiri's senses were on overload. Tasuki's hands seemed to be everywhere, stroking his arms, across his chest, sides, running through his hair, and the feeling was exquisite. //And I'm still fully clothed. Oh Suzaku, what did I get myself into, Tasuki's going to be such a handful.// Up to this point, Chichiri's body had been all but frozen, receiving Tasuki's attention, but giving nothing back. His hands finally started to move, to respond to his wishes. All he wanted right now was to touch Tasuki, to get to feel the flesh that had been haunting his dreams, and taunting his waking hours the last little while.

For the moment Tasuki looked content to be touching over fabric, so it looked like Chichiri would need to get things started. He didn't want to take it slow, they would have other chances to be romantic. Besides, how romantic could a person be while rolling around on the forest floor. No, Chichiri would wait for a proper bed before taking things slow. Right now he wanted Tasuki, and the sooner the better. He was the first to make a move for the clothes, tugging impatiently at Tasuki's jacket, pulling it off his shoulders. Tasuki got the hint, shrugging the rest of the way out of the coat, and then working on his shirt after that, untucking it from his pants. Seeing his chance, Chichiri moved, his hands darting forward to slip underneath the cotton, letting out a sigh as his palms pressed flat against warm skin. He splayed his fingers, touching as much of the soft skin as possible, sliding his hands up a firm stomach, fingers skimming across ribs. One hand wrapped around Tasuki's side, coming to rest near his lower back. The other hand continued on its upwards path, toying with a hardened nipple.

Tasuki's now shaking hands removed his shirt, before once more leaning down to kiss the older man, moaning at a sudden twist of his nipple, hips bucking, brushing their groins together. Chichiri gasped, the brief contact causing him to harden even further. It had been way too long since he'd been with anyone. Kouran had been his last, his only experience with a woman. But it was his times with Hikou that Chichiri was going to be pulling his experience from. Their first time together wasn't going to last all that long, he was way too worked up. Chichiri hungrily drank in the sight of the man seated over him.

Tasuki was thin, beautiful expanse of tanned flesh covering lightly toned muscles, the sight marred only by the small x-shaped scar on his side. His eyes roamed lower, taking in the obvious bulge in his pants. One bold hand was reaching for the bulge, cupping it gently, unsure, all the while his gaze was now locked on Tasuki's face. Chichiri squeezed softly, watching as Tasuki's eyes slid closed, his cheeks flushing, hips pressing himself firmer against the hand. His mouth dropped open, panting, as Chichiri continued to move his hand, massaging. "Chi-Chiri. I wanna feel ya, without anythin' in the way."

Speech had escaped Chichiri; he didn't trust his voice not to betray his nervousness. So he stuck with simply nodding again, watching as Tasuki's face lit up. The bandit lifted himself up. His hands fumbled at the button, finally managing to pop it open. Chichiri's hands started untying his own pants, having a lot more luck at getting then undone, pushing them down and off, after only a brief hesitation. Now Tasuki was even more distracted, since all of Chichiri was lying bare in front of him. Cures spilled from his mouth as his pants refused to cooperate with him, and he ended up tripping over himself in his haste to get them off. He landed on his butt, stones digging painfully into his now uncovered backside. Irritated, he saw Chichiri's discarded kesa was merely inches away, which would have made for a nicer landing. Oh man, let's jus' do somethin' else ta make yerself look stupid. Blushing hotly, Tasuki kicked the pants off the rest of the way; they handed in a heap ten feet away. He refused to raise his eyes, avoiding looking at Chichiri's expression, afraid to find himself being laughed at.

Chichiri noticed the other seishi's embarrassment, his reluctance to move from where he now sat. //It's up to me now, no da. He thinks he's made a fool of himself.// Rolling to his hands and knees, the monk crawled over to Tasuki. Before Tasuki could do anything, Chichiri pushed him backwards, until he was half laying on the ground, half on the kesa. Chichiri crawled over him, wedging one leg between Tasuki's, causing him to let them fall open so the other man could fit.

Despite his embarrassment, Tasuki's erection hadn't faded at all, and with this new position, he was, if anything, getting even harder. This was what he'd dreamt of, had hoped for, when thinking of the two of them together. He didn't want to be in charge, he wanted to surrender his body to the monk. He would have been able to live with having to top, but giving himself to Chichiri was his ideal situation. I hope he doesn' mind me bein' the bottom. He'd looked pretty comfy on his back earlier. Tasuki knew he was thinking too much, that hw was probably worrying for nothing.

Chichiri frowned, he could see the inner conflict Tasuki was having, that the younger man was doing way more thinking then was currently necessary. //I must not be trying hard enough, no da. He shouldn't be able to think by this point.// Chichiri caught his mouth in a kiss, nipping at Tasuki's bottom lip, sucking on it for a moment before plunging his tongue inside to taste. Their tongues dueled, fighting for dominance, before Tasuki gave in, allowing Chichiri complete access.

Emboldened by the small whimpers he was managing to wrench from Tasuki's throat, Chichiri brought one hand between their bodies, curling his fingers around Tasuki's length. Tasuki's whole body jerked at the contact, muscles tensing up. He moved with slow, sure strokes, brushing his thumb over the tip on every upwards stroke. In no time the small whimpers had turned into uncontrolled moans and gasps. Tasuki's hands had come up to wrap around Chichiri, pulling him closer. It was a more awkward position, less room to maneuver his hand, but Tasuki didn't seem to care, the shorter strokes didn't seem to be making a difference. He could tell Tasuki was close to losing it, slender fingers had been steadily digging deeper into his back, to the point where he was sure there'd be eight crescent shaped scratches from Tasuki's nails later.

Chichiri didn't want the red head to come yet, wanted to wait a while longer, so he let go at the last moment. Tasuki whined, high and loud, a keening moan of loss when he felt Chichiri release him. He whined again as the pressure on top of him started to lessen as well. Why's he getting' up? What's goin' on? He was too flustered to actually ask though, so the bandit settled for another whine.

Chichiri ran a hand over Tasuki's cheek, thumb stroking over a high cheekbone. Tasuki looked at him desperately, and then relaxed immediately. His mahogany eye was warm, smiling, matching the smile on his face. "Shh, no da. I've just got to grab something."

Tasuki was puzzled for only a bit, as a moment later Chichiri pulled something from his discarded pants. Then his puzzlement changed to shock. He managed to find his voice finally; there was no way he wasn't going to get this explanation. "What…what do ya keep that on ya for?"

Chichiri blushed slightly, taking in the look of amazement mixed with disbelief in Tasuki's face. His eyes were open comically wide, mouth dropped open in shock. Chichiri's eye darted down to the vial of oil in his grasp. He realized what conclusion Tasuki had come to. //Oh Suzaku. He's going to think I'm a pervert.// "It's not what it looks like, no da!"

A quirked eyebrow was his only response. "Really! It's just some scented oil I use in my prayers sometimes."

A frown was quickly replacing the amazed expression on Tasuki's face. "So, this ain't sacrilegious issit?"

Chichiri's blush deepened, spreading to his ears. "No, I just like the way it smells. It helps me concentrate, doesn't actually have a real purpose, no da."

Tasuki smirked, relieved. "Well in that case get back here an' put it to use." As he said this he moved up a bit, until he was seated fully on the kesa.

//There's the brash Tasuki that had been missing.// Chichiri sank back down to his knees, settling himself once again over the younger man. Tasuki's eyes had followed his movements closely, gaze locked on his crotch. Chichiri could practically feel the impatience coming off of Tasuki, so he wasted no time in opening the oil. The smell of sandalwood helped calm his nerves as he poured some out onto his fingers. Chichiri still wasn't sure if Tasuki had ever done this before, so he went slowly, rubbing along his balls before going lower still. He circled the small entrance a few times before dipping his middle finger inside. Tasuki tensed only slightly at the intrusion, before forcing himself to relax. Shit, it's been way too long since I let anyone do this. Not since 'fore Kouji- He cut that line of thinking off right away, not wanting anything to ruin this first time, not wanting to dwell on painful memories.

Chichiri worked his finger in farther, trying to loosen up the muscle. After a bit he pushed another finger inside, scissoring them. Tasuki winced at the slight pain the addition of a third finger brought. He could deal with it though, the pain and discomfort were minimal, nothing he hadn't been through before. Tasuki didn't know if it was intentional or not, but Chichiri crooked his fingers in a way that brushed that spot inside him, making stars burst behind his eyes and pleasure to shoot through his body. He couldn't take too much more of this; he was still too close to the edge from earlier. "Chiri, that's good enough. Jus' fuck me already!"

Chichiri wasn't entirely convinced, Tasuki still felt so tight, there was no way he was prepared yet. But one look at the red head's expression told him there was going to be no argument in the matter. Besides, his own erection was straining, needing attention. Deciding to go slow to prevent hurting the younger man, Chichiri moved himself into position, spreading Tasuki's legs wider. Tasuki had been stretching the truth a bit. It had been so long since another man had been inside him that the three fingers for such a short time weren't going to be enough. He proved himself right at the first press of Chichiri's erection against his opening. He bit back the hiss that wanted to escape, gritting his teeth. It wasn't as bad as he thought, there wasn't pain, it was more of an uncomfortable burn if anything.

Chichiri slid in slowly, inch by inch, until he was fully buried inside Tasuki's heat. He was breathing hard now, having to retrain himself from just thrusting into his body. Chichiri didn't know if he could do it though, if he could give Tasuki enough time to adjust. The choice was taken from him a moment later.

Tasuki could see how bad Chichiri was trembling, that it was taking everything the monk had not to just let loose. And he was touched by the sentiment, even while his own body shook with retrained passion. So he took matters into his own hands. He bucked his hips sharply, moving to the point where Chichiri nearly slipped out of him, before slamming himself back down on the cock impaling him. Chichiri let out a sharp gasp, along with what Tasuki could have sworn was a bitten off curse. "Jus' move Chiri."

And finally, the monk listened to him, starting up his own rhythm, although one a lot slower then Tasuki had done. But it was good enough. In no time, between the thrusts and Chichiri's wandering hands, Tasuki was a writhering mess. Chichiri relished every sound he managed to pull from that pretty throat, every whimper, moan, and gasp, every breathy version of his name. He was debating with himself right then. What he really wanted to do was kiss the bandit again, but that would mean having to stop the flow of sound continuously pouring out of him. //I'll settle for a compromise, no da.//

He got his chance when Tasuki's head fell back with a loud moan, as a thrust hit his prostate head on. Chichiri leaned down, his lips attaching to Tasuki's Adam's apple, sucking gently. He kissed and licked his way up the tanned column, bringing his mouth to Tasuki's right ear. He nibbled on the lobe, tongue swirling around the earring dangling there. Tasuki shivered, the licks to his ear sending bolts of raw pleasure straight to his groin.

The younger man let out a hoarse yell, nearly a scream, as Chichiri once again wrapped a hand around his now heavily leaking cock, stroking in time to his thrusts. The combined assault on his neck, ass, and cock was making Tasuki incoherent. His hands scrabbled uselessly against the ground, trying to find purchase, before moving back to their previous position wrapped around Chichiri. He couldn't concentrate, his entire body felt like it was on fore, nerve endings screaming in pleasure, overwhelming him.

Chichiri's hand was slick with pre-cum now, his hand sliding easily over his lover's shaft. Every thrust was now pounding that spot inside him, Chichiri's pace had quickened, slamming into the body beneath him. That was all Tasuki could take, and all the warning he was able to give was a very garbled sentence, none of which sounded like actual words.

Chichiri knew what was about to happen though, Tasuki's reactions were all he needed to tell him. Every muscle in the bandit's body seemed to tighten at once, the tendons on his neck standing out. He felt warm liquid cover his hand, as well as Tasuki's stomach, the same moment Tasuki clenched around his cock, making the already tight channel tighten further. Chichiri made sure he was watching Tasuki's face at the moment he came. The younger man was absolutely beautiful. His face was flushed, a sheen of sweat on his forehead, slicking his bangs. His hair was even more mussed then usual from tossing his head back and forth. Amber eyes were wide open, pupils dilated to the point where only a small ring of color still shown. Tasuki's mouth was open in a silent scream, a few choked sounds were all that was escaping. Chichiri was vaguely glad the scream hadn't managed to find a voice, judging by his pleasure twisted expression he'd be quite deaf right now otherwise.

Tasuki went limp under him all of a sudden, gasping for breath. Chichiri released his spent member, bracing both hands on the ground, finally ready to end things now that Tasuki had come first. And now that he was quiet again, Chichiri could also finally get his kiss. He brought their mouths together in a crushing kiss, putting all his passion into it. It wouldn't take much more for Chichiri to come, the warmth and feel of Tasuki wrapped around him was enough to threaten his control.

Chichiri's thrusts were becoming more and more erratic, his rhythm completely thrown. The short stabbing thrusts meant he could go faster, getting the friction he needed. He accidentally bit into Tasuki's bottom lip when his release suddenly hit him. Chichiri moaned as he spilled his seed deep inside his lover, shuddering with the force of the orgasm. He gave one soothing, apologetic lick to Tasuki's abused lip before slumping on top of the younger man for a moment, then sliding off to the side. Tasuki sighed in disappointment as Chichiri's softening cock slipped from his body.

Chichiri tugged at Tasuki. Gathering him into his arms, their limbs tangled together. Tasuki laid his head on the monk's chest, listening to his rapidly beating heart start to slow down through the shirt he still wore. A comfortable silence had settles over them, as each simply enjoyed being in the others presence. For once, Chichiri was the one to break the silence. "I didn't hurt you did I?"

Tasuki lazily lifted his head, looking up into Chichiri's worried gaze. "Nah, I'm gonna be sore later, but that's 'cause my body ain't used to this anymore." Tasuki's tongue flicked out to probe at his lip. "An' my lip hurts a bit, but it's nothin' ta worry about, that'll heal in a few days. 'Sides, it's kinda hot that ya can lose control like that."

"Sorry about your lip, it was just a reflex, no da." He sounded genuinely upset.

"I said don' worry 'bout it." It looked like he was about to say more, but before he could, he was interrupted by a huge yawn.

Watching Tasuki, Chichiri realized that he was quite tired as well, as he gave an answering yawn. His dreams the last few nights had left him with a scant few hours of sleep. Chichiri glanced at their clothes, scattered around the area. Deciding clothes could wait until later, he hugged Tasuki tighter. "Why don't we have a quick nap, no da. Just to get our energy back."

He could feel Tasuki's sleepy nod, and a few moments later light snores reached his ears. //Tasuki always could fall asleep really quick.// His eye shut, thoughts slowing down as he drifted off to sleep, content to hold the man he loved in his arms.

TBC


End file.
